I'll Share Hell With You
by Trikster
Summary: *Completed ^^* Aya feels guilty when Ken falls sick from a mission; will new feelings emerge through a haze of fever and frenzy? Aya/Ken Yoji/Omi
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply, Weiss Kreuz belongs to Project Weiss and Kyoko somebody…^^ Hey, she stole my name!  I just realized that…Well, for this fic, WK is mine, regardless of which Kyoko I am, so enjoy the story!

I'll Share Hell With You

Chapter 1- So it begins…

"Aya…"

"Shh."

"Aya.."

"Shh."

"Aya!"

"Ken, _what_?"  Aya Fujimiya narrowed amethyst eyes on his fellow assassin cum florist, extremely annoyed that the genki brunette was bothering him.  They were _supposed_ to be watching the guards for Yoji and Omi, but Ken's persistent whispers had knocked the stolid youth out of his focus.

"Um, weren't Bombay and Balinese 'posed to be here half an hour ago?"  Ken shifted uneasily, keeping his bugnuks out and ready.

Aya checked his watch, managing to keep his face blank as he realized Ken was right.  

"Hai."

_Kuso…Manx said this was an easy mission…_ Aya kept his thoughts to himself, stewing over what he was going to say to Kudou when he found the lanky blond playboy.  It was no use lecturing Omi, because he would just widen his big blue eyes and give all parties involved a major guilt trip.  Similar to kicking a puppy; he would have to content himself with lashing out on Kudou for screwing this up.

Ken was silent for a total of five minutes before speaking up again.  "Should we go look for them?"

Aya fought the urge to roll his eyes.  "No."

Pause.  "Why not?"

No answer from Aya.  Ken began to think he was ignoring him until he felt two gloved hands shoving him down into a crouching position.  When had Aya crossed the hallway??  Even with his blood-red hair and pale violet eyes he managed to blend perfectly into the shadows.  Ken winced slightly as his knees hit cold concrete, but said nothing until he could feel the older man squatting beside him.

"Aya, wh-

"I heard someone moving in the level below uth."  Aya spoke 'us' in a lisp so that the consonant 's' wouldn't travel to enemy ears in the darkness.

Ken nodded, his brown eyes wide as he tensed, listening.  Ages seemed to pass by, but if Ken had learned anything from the assassin business, it was that time passed much slower when one was waiting.  Slowly, he twisted his wrist around until he could read the tiny digital numbers.

1:50 am.

_Aw, man…We've only been sitting here for 10 minutes…_ Ken couldn't help thinking glumly to himself.  With great self-control, he suppressed a sigh that would have earned him a certified Death Glare, courtesy of Aya-kun.  Where in the world were his teammates?

Just as he was about to poke Aya and ask him for a plan, angry shouts resounded from down the hall, where a multitude of lights had just flashed on.  Terrified chocolate eyes met hard purple in the dark, before both assassins were up and running towards the source of the commotion.

The scene that lay before them was one of utter chaos; somehow Omi and Yoji had wound up on the third floor, one story above the target's office.  Glass beakers and micropipettes were scattered across the floor, evidently having fallen from the upturned table in the middle of the room.  Omi was slumped against the wall, blood trickling from a cut on his forehead, unconscious.  Yoji had taken a position in front of the normally cheerful Bombay, a 9 mm Glock in one hand and his watch's wire in the other.  Three scientists were already lying dead on the floor, crimson life joining the other chemicals puddling onto the linoleum.  The last remaining scientist and three guards had the upperhand; it was apparent that Yoji had run out of bullets from the empty clip on the ground.  

Aya, being faster than Ken, had reached the room first, thrusting his katana without a moment's hesitation through the closest guard to the door.  Ken followed a second behind his teammate, slashing out with his bugnuks and killing the fourth and final scientist.  Yoji got the next guard into a chokehold with his wire, strangling the life from him as Aya cut down the last guard.  A flurry of noise on the staircase galvanized Ken into action; scooping up Omi, he kicked his foot through the emergency exit door and walked backwards onto the fire escape, shouting to his companions as he did so.

"Abyssinian, Balinese, retreat!"

Yoji, near to exhaustion, was moving too slowly for Aya's taste, so the gangly blonde found himself being dragged out of the room by his friend and leader.  Too tired to protest, he climbed down the fire escape and dropped the last few steps to the sidewalk, picking himself up and following Ken as he ran towards the car.  Aya was right on his heels, literally shoving him into the backseat before closing the side door and hopping into the driver's seat.

The sounds of the engine gunning and the tires squealing reverberated off of the building walls as Aya thrust the stick into 4th gear and took off.  Ken could barely regulate his breathing until they were a safe distance away from the medical research institution, no signs of a chase evident.

Aya met his gaze in the rearview mirror, and Ken shook his head slowly at the unanswered question.  Now was not the time to ask what had happened to a seemingly simple mission gone wrong.  Instead, the brunette turned around to face Yoji in the backseat, cradling Omi's cornsilk head in his lap.

"Is he ok?"  

Yoji nodded, bending his head down to listen to the youth's ragged breath.  "He just got a bump on the head when some asshole threw him into the wall."  

Ken wasn't fooled by Yoji's nonchalant attitude.  He knew the supposed heart-breaker was just as worried, if not more so, about Omi as he was.  But to say so in front of Aya would unleash a torrent of reprimands such as, "You should have been more careful," or "What the hell were you doing up there?"

This time, Ken couldn't hold back a sigh as he settled back into his seat and watched the road in front of him.  Aya's eyes flicked over to him once before his grip tightened on the wheel and he faced forwards again.

"Ken, did you touch any of the chemicals on the floor?"

He had to think a moment.  "Yeah, I think when I was running to get Omi, I might have touched something on the ground."

Aya was silent, but Ken could see a jaw muscle clench.  "Why did you ask?"

"They could have been dangerous, I want Kritiker to run a test when we get back."

Ken opened his mouth to protest, to insist that he was fine, but Yoji's hand on his shoulder corked any comments he was about to make.  

"Let the Krits check you out, Kenken.  Better safe than sorry, ne?"

Ken leaned back in his seat and nodded, letting his eyes fall shut as he drifted off into a fitful doze.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"This is Hell, Kase…" 

He was drowning; his body being tugged down by a million invisible hands as he sank further and further into a lake of shadows, reaching feebly to the surface for help.  He opened his mouth to cry out, but no sounds came forth as his eyes filled with dark red water, no it was blood…

_Nameless bodies drifted past him, their faces frozen into masks of horror as he watched each of die at the hand of a ruthless killer, no, it was him!_

_Clenching his fists, he realized he was wearing his bugnuks, bloodstained as they had been in the lab.  Lowering his mouth to the claws, he tasted coppery fluid and genuine evil on his tongue, losing himself in the bittersweet desire…_

_"This is Hell, Kase…"_

_"This is Hell…_

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!"  Ken woke to red-hot lances of pain shooting up and down his legs, charlie horses cramping in his calves and fiery numbness all throughout his body.  Bolting upright, he could feel sweat running down his face in rivulets, dripping onto white blood-soaked sheets…

Blood-soaked??

Ken moaned aloud, throwing the sheets off of himself and working out the charlie horses with sore, blistered fingers.  Why was this room so hot?  Where was he bleeding from?  Cautiously, he peered in the early-dawn dimness at the sheets pooled on his carpet, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw only sweat-soaked white.  Where had the pain in his legs come from?

Looking down once more, this time at his body, Ken was horrified to see bruises mottling the tanned flesh, scars that had not been there the night before crossing his skin.  The pain was slowly receding, but it had left a hot ache in his muscles and bones that made him groan again in discomfort.  Swift footsteps padded in the hall and the door flew open to reveal Aya in gray track pants and a white tanktop, obviously having just woken up.  

Three long strides carried him over to Ken's bed, cool hands pressing the fevered youth back onto the pillows as Aya sat down on the mattress next to him.

"What's wrong?"  Aya's voice was cold and crisp, bringing Ken out of his stupor and into the pale amethyst gaze.  Trying desperately to focus his clouded brown eyes on the older man in front of him, Ken could do little more than recognize him as a familiar face, but that was all the ill assassin needed.  Grasping the thin white material of Aya's tanktop, he pulled himself up and buried his face into Aya's chest, sobbing hot tears into the cotton.  Tentatively, Aya put his arms around the quaking youth, lifting his head up to meet Yoji's eyes at the door.

"Go get Kritiker," he hissed, the urgency in his voice propelling Yoji down the stairs and into the kitchen to call the medical team.  

Up in Ken's room, Aya was still holding tightly to the dark-haired boy, furious at himself for not getting Ken checked out right when they got back to the house, rather than waiting until he had woken up.  Ken's sobs had died down and his shoulders had stopped shaking, now his breathing was slow and even as he slept against Aya's hard upper body.  A wave of guilt washed over the older assassin as he laid the soccer-player back down onto the bed, noticing for the first time the dark marks on his long legs.  

"Gomen nasai, Ken…the doctors will be here soon."

A/N:  Please remember to review!  Even if you think it's total cow feed, please let me know so I can make it better…^^  You can also email me at trublu39@hotmail.com with comments or questions.  

Also, this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a one-shot fic!  There will be a second chapter coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

I'll Share Hell With You

Chapter 2- Reassurance

Teeny Tiny Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply, I don't own Weiss Kreuz and affiliates, blah de blah…I did take artistic liberty with the doctor's names, though, and I don't know if Kritiker actually spoke in German, but for the purpose of my unworthy fanfiction, it shall be so. 

Tiny Disclaimer for the Song Blurb: "The Promise" Belongs to Fly to the Sky, a kick-ass Korean pop band that everyone should go to google and look for.  ^^  The lyrics are translated, so don't hurt me if they don't make sense, sometimes things sound better in Korean than they do in English…Hahahaha…

And vice versa, of course.  :-)

Promise me until you turn my life loose  
that I may protect you because I love you  
with a loving heart and effort I will meet you  
the small winds are close by  
anytime we can freely fly away, and with your tears  
you dream of days that seem perfect…

The Kritiker team of doctors had arrived 15 minutes after Yoji's early-morning call, 14 minutes too long for Aya to wait.  He had pulled back the covers for the medical staff and stood by while they examined Ken.  At first, Ken had fought and struggled against the latex-gloved hands, quieting only when a sedative was forced down his throat.  After writing notes and conferring with each other in German, Kritiker ushered Aya out of the room and locked the door behind him.  Before pushing him out, however, Dr. Ceiskel had given him and the two anxious Weiss members in the hall specific instructions _not_ to enter the room, no matter what sounds they might hear.  The click of the lock was audible in the silent hallway as the doctor's face disappeared and they were left staring at white-painted wood.

            "Well, not much we can do now, Kiddies," Yoji said, addressing Aya in particular, who seemed to be locked in a staredown with the door.  He slung an arm around Omi's shoulder and steered the sleepy teenager back into his room, leaving the silent man to brood in the hallway.  A few minutes later, he reappeared and poked Aya in the ribs.

            Aya looked up and glared at the blonde assassin.  "What do you want."

"I want you to go back to bed.  There's nothing we can do for Ken right now, you know that.  Don't make yourself sick, too."  Without waiting for either reply or retort, he descended the stairs to the kitchen in search of painkillers for Omi's earlier concussion.  

            Inside, Aya was torn between sleep and waiting for Kritiker's diagnosis.  Outwardly, he showed no signs of his mental frustration, his anxiety winning the battle and leading him down the stairs.  Yoji looked up as he approached, lazy jade eyes rimmed with red from stress and fatigue.

            "I thought you were going back to bed."

            Aya stared at him impassively, choosing not to reply as he poured himself a glass of water.  Sliding into a chair with a grace that belied his fight to stay calm, he fixed his eyes on the clock and sipped at the water.

            "You're worried about him, aren't you?"

            Aya ignored him, averting his gaze as Yoji came to sit down next to him.  A minute of silence went by.  Aya was counting the seconds, so he knew.  Yoji placed a large hand on his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his seat.  Glaring at the blonde assassin, he shoved the chair away from the table and dumped the rest of the water into the sink.  Yoji sighed and stood up as well, wincing when he heard stiff joints crack.  Walking over to his angry housemate, he leaned on the wall and nodded towards the stairs.

            "Will you give Omi his meds?"  Aya nodded and accepted the small white bottle, relieved to have something to do.  At least Omi wouldn't ask inane questions.  Yoji disappeared into the den, presumably to either watch t.v. or fall asleep on the couch.  Aya began ascending the stairs, but when he was only halfway up he heard a bloodcurdling scream erupt from behind Ken's closed door.  He raced up the remaining steps and would have thrown himself at the door had not Yoji come tearing out of the den and tackling him as his foot touched the last landing.  

            "God damnit, Aya, they told us not to go in there, no matter what!"

            Aya struggled wildly to free himself from the taller man's grip, kicking him in the face and reaching towards the door.

            "Do you want Ken to see you like this??"  At Yoji's words, he immediately stopped moving and lay prone on the ground, shoulders quaking with repressed anger and helplessness.  Yoji got off of him and stretched out a hand to help him up.  Aya shook his head and picked himself up off the floor, bracing his back against the wall until his coursing emotions had subsided.  The blank mask slipped over his face once more, and Yoji breathed an audible sigh of relief.  The pale assassin met his gaze before heading for Omi's room down the hall.  Once he was out of sight, Yoji ran his fingers through his wayward blonde hair and entered his own room, finally surrendering to the call of a much-needed sleep.

Omi's room was dark and cool, the blinds drawn to prevent light from irritating the youth's throbbing headache.  He appeared to be dozing lightly when Aya closed the door behind him, stirring as he heard the quiet footsteps approach his bed.  Two ocean-blue eyes peered at the moving figure and Aya froze, unsure as to whether he should leave or not.  Omi sat upright against the headboard and gave Aya his genki smile, fully awake now that he had recognized the stolid sword-bearer.

            "Ohayo, Aya-kun!  Daijobu desu ka?"

            "Daijobu.  Yoji said you need to take these painkillers."  As if he had forgotten about his injury, Omi clapped a hand to his brow and grinned ruefully, rubbing the stitches Yoji had installed.

            "Ne, my head doesn't hurt so much now, I just feel a bit queasy."

            Aya nodded and set the bottle of pills on Omi's  bedside table, about to get up and leave.

            "Chotto matte, Aya-kun.  Did Kritiker come out of Ken-kun's room yet?"

            "Iie."  Again, he turned to go.

            "What was the screaming I heard before?  I thought it was a dream at first, but then I heard someone fall on the stairs."

            Aya hesitated, looking at the innocently curious boy who was regarding him silently from the bed.  It was harder to ignore Omi then it was to ignore Yoji; Yoji didn't have big blue eyes.

            "Shimimasen.  We'll know when they are finished."

            "Are you going back to bed?"

            "Iie."

            "Can I stay up with you?  It's almost time to open the shop, and I don't feel tired anymore."

            "Do as you wish."  It was neither a yes or no, but Omi had lived with Aya long enough to read between the lines.  He threw off the covers and followed his fellow Weiss out of the room, struggling to poke his head through the top of his gray t-shirt.  Unable to see where he was going, he ran smack into Aya.

            "Nani, Aya-kun?"

            The redhead had stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the open door of Ken's room.

"Fujimiya-san?"

Aya stepped forward.

Dr. Ceiskel motioned for him to enter the room.  Yoji followed behind, but Omi was pushed back out.

"We wish to speak with Tsukiyono later," was the only offered explanation before the door closed firmly shut.  

            Once inside the room, Aya had to contain a sharp intake of breath at the feverish, delirious figure lying on the bed.  Ken's entire face was bright red, shiny with sweat that rolled off onto his pillow.  The sheets were twisted all around his bruised legs, signs of his previous thrashing and turning.  Yoji was grim-faced, standing beside him.

            "Hidaka-san came into contact with Vitale 908, a chemical previously used in a diet pill that was never approved by the Drug Administration.  The targets last night in the research building were illegally selling these pills to young women, and the side effects included nausea, fever, and strange markings such as the ones on Hidaka-san's legs.  However, these symptoms were usually counter-effected by the other proteins in the pill after 72 hours.  Unfortunately, when isolated, Vitale 908 has extreme side effects but nothing to balance it out.  We've given him a good deal of sedatives and an aspirin for the fever, but there's nothing more we can do until the chemical is out of his system."

            "How long will that take?"

            "Anywhere from 2 days to a week."

            Aya blanched visibly.  "So someone has to keep watch on him?"

            "Hai.  You can call us if his condition worsens, but he should be waking up soon; the sedative won't keep him knocked out, it will most likely make him sluggish and drowsy when he awakens."

            Yoji spoke up.  "Why do you need to talk to Omi in private?"

            "You said he was out cold on the floor when Hidaka-san picked him up, ne?"

            "Aa."

            "If you two haven't shown symptoms by now, you're safe, but Tsukiyono-san may have had some exposure to 908 on his bare skin.  Hidaka-san would have been safe if his sleeves hadn't been torn.  We just want to ask him a few questions about what he remembers before he blacked out.  Perhaps we'll need to run some tests."

            Yoji nodded and exited the room to inform Omi.  Aya was silent, watching the rise and fall of Ken's chest.  Every few seconds, ragged coughs would tear from his chest.  It was painful to see, but he couldn't look away.  The door opened and Omi entered the room, sitting down in Ken's desk chair while the Kritiker doctors questioned him about his actions and apparel in the laboratory room.

            "Fujimiya-san?  We'll be taking our leave now, Siberian appears to be the only one who came in contact with the chemical."

            Aya nodded and Yoji saw the doctors out, leaving him in the room with Omi and Ken.  

            "We have to open the shop soon."

            "Hn."

            "Yoji can take first watch over Ken, and we can take turns filling in for Ken-kun's shift, ne?"

            "Hn."

            Omi tried again.  "We should go downstairs and eat something; are you hungry?"

            Aya turned to look at the 15 year old.  He was gazing back at him with tired blue eyes, but still he spoke cheerfully and with optimism.  If Ken were awake, he'd be complaining about how starving he was.  The thought made the corner of Aya's mouth twitch, and some of the worry went out of Omi's eyes.  The quiet redhead nodded and let Omi lead him down the stairs, hearing the soft click of Ken's door closing behind him.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter took so long to write, and I'm sorry it's so darn short!  I've been sick all weekend and on Friday, and then I had lots of homework to do after school, so-

Aya: Excuses, excuses.

Ken: Tsk tsk.

K-chan: Hey, I'm writing as fast I can!

Schu: Why don't I get a part in this fic?

Aya: Because you're not special.

Schu: **-**pouts-

K-chan: -glomps schu- Of course you're special, you just don't get the attention this time.  –gives him a cooky-

Schu: -eats cooky- 

K-chan: I'll try to get more out this week, please remember to review!

Aya: Or prepare to shi-ne!

K-chan: -facefaults-


	3. Chapter 3

I'll Share Hell With You

Chapter 3: Stuffed animals and Snow angels

Disclaimer: To copyright infringe or not to copyright infringe, that is the question…No, but really, Weiss Kreuz doesn't belong to me, if it did, I could snap my fingers and have Koyasu Takehito pop up, and we all know he's not _reaaallyyy_ married…Yeah, keep dreaming K-chan..

Tiny Disclaimer on the Songs: Okay, okay, I know this has _noothinnnggg_ to do with this chapter or this story for that matter, but I have to represent for my Korean family again, and stick in a few Drunken Tiger lyrics.  DT is a Korean rap group that is made up of two Koreans, one mixed white/Korean, and one mixed black/Korean.  I loooove their music to death, and I kinda get the techno/rap vibe from Yoji, so go look for Drunken Tiger, too!

Thank You's, Gracias, Arigatoos, Dankes, Merci beacoup's:

I'm just going to say thank you to everyone who reviewed, and everyone who reviewed multiple times gets a smiley face because I'm not sick anymore and I feel happy today.  ^^

Naza

LeoAngel

Lark57

Queennothing ^^

Lilas ^^

Ariadna

Gnine

Kyri

Siberian ^^

Daemonchan

Bishie

Adakie ^^

Eeyore (I love Tigger, myself, but Eeyore gets lots of luv too)

Ladyicecubes  ^^

Solaris

Toumatachi (connie, u so lazy, where's your stories??)

And a big thank you to Long for wearing a tanktop yesterday after tennis practice, because it gave me inspiration to write the second chapter.  ^^  -faints-

And, to the reader who asked for more Yotan, here's a chapter chock-full of some hinted shonen-ai between our favorite blonde bishies!  If anyone objects and doesn't want Kudou corrupting the young, please tell me in the reviews.  ^^

-revives- Happy reading…

_…The king plus the ransom now,_

_ follow the movement from africa to canton, _

_stomp ya feet say drunken for the kingdom, _

_tiger for your soul now throw your fist_

_ we the champion buck buck buck buck a yo,_

_ how many mc's must I run through before they figure out,_

_ there ain't no freakin with my crew one two,_

_ i break it down and set it off for all peoples…_

Yoji opened one crusted jade eye, then the other, as Tiger JK came blaring through his alarm clock radio, quickly followed by Roscoe's not-so appropriate chorus lines.  Rather than face a lecture on his taste in music from Aya, he threw his pillow at the clock just as he heard the starting of  "Nig-  

Ah, sweet silence.  Wait a minute…Yoji picked up the now buzzing clock and focused his fuzzy gaze on the digital numbers.  

"Aw, man…"  

He was supposed to have been watching Ken an hour ago!  Omi had graciously given him half an hour to catch up on z's while they opened the shop, but he must have set his alarm at the wrong time.  

"Hope Kenken's not awake yet," he muttered to himself as he pulled on socks and a t-shirt.  The sun was filtering through the closed blinds, giving him sufficient light in the dim room.  After all the events of the past night, it was still yet 7:00 in the morning.  Yawning, Yoji stumbled out the door and crept catlike into Ken's room, easing the door softly shut behind him.

Adjusting his eyes to the darkness inside, he carefully padded over to the window and lifted the shade.  It was easier to watch someone when they were sleeping, but if he had no one to talk to, he might fall asleep himself.  Better to have Ken wake up so at least Yoji would know how he was feeling.

No sign of motion from the bed.  Yoji sat for a few minutes on the chair from the desk, seriously tempted to peel back Ken's eyelids and shine a flashlight in them.  Would it work?  Probably not.  Would Aya kill him?  Duh.

As Yoji waited for his friend to rise and shine, figuratively speaking, his thoughts turned to the relationship between Aya and Ken.  _Was_ there a relationship between Fujimiya and Hidaka?  They seemed like the most oddball couple to be together, but when seriously contemplated, it began to make sense.  Ken was impulsive, Aya was there to pick him up when he fell.  Aya was moody, Ken was there to lighten the atmosphere.  They even looked good when they stood next to each other, which, granted, wasn't often.  And, even if both parties involved didn't realize it, they definitely had feelings for each other.  

Yoji was no stranger to love.  He had dated more women in a year than most men dated in a decade; more men in a week than most men dated in a liftetime.  His teammates knew he was bi, too, which helped whenever he brought someone of the same sex home.  So to say he hadn't noticed the mutual attraction growing between the two would be a boldfaced lie.

But had Aya and Ken noticed?  Yoji looked down at the dozing soccer player, wondering what he would do if asked about his feelings for the cold bishonen.  Probably blush and splutter and go off on a tangent.

Hmm…that sounded like fun.  

"Damnit Ken, wakey wakey, I'm getting bored here," he said, poking him lightly with his index finger.  Ken stirred and Yoji felt a little guilty, but not guilty enough to stop him from poking Ken again.  

"Mmph…go 'way…"

"Come on, Cinderella, time to wake up and smell the coffee…" Yoji prodded.  

Twin brown eyes peered at the lanky assassin, glaring in response to his grin.  "First of all, it's Sleeping Beauty, and second of all, cyanide is preferable to coffee right now."

But Yoji's cheerful demeanor now that Ken was awake was not to be diminished.  "Fresh out of cyanide, but we got some Tylenol with codeine if you're sore."

Ken nodded sleepily, swallowing the medicine and struggling to pull himself upright.  Yoji helped him to a sitting position, tucking a pillow behind his back.  Ken still looked slightly dazed as Yoji relayed the doctor's information to him, rubbing his eyes and letting his sweaty bangs flop over his hands.

"2 days to a week?  But I feel better now," he protested, lowering his fisted hands into his lap.  

"You may feel hunky-dory now, but you won't tonight.  Are you hungry?"

Ken blinked at Yoji's change of topics and admitted that he was starving.  Yoji gave him a lopsided grin and helped him out of the bed, the pair making their way towards the bedroom door and into the hallway.  

"OOF!"

Yoji bumped into something shorter and harder than him, sending the aforementioned object backwards to the ground.  Ken tripped and fell on top of the something, which turned out to be Aya in his "Shi-ne" mode.  

"G-gomen nasai, Aya!"  Ken muttered hasty apologies as he struggled to get off the furious man.  Yoji pulled him up and set him on his feet while Aya got to his knees and glared at the taller assassin.

"What is he doing out of bed?" he hissed as he stood upright.

Yoji shrugged amicably and slung an arm around Aya's shoulders.  "Well, he said he was hungry, so I figured I'd take him downstairs to eat something."

Aya pushed his arm away and held his hand out to Ken.  "I'll take him, but next time, Kudou, bring up a tray so he doesn't have to use his legs.  Kritiker said-

"Hai, hai, Kritiker said put your left hand in and shake it all about, now do the hokey pokey and go away, I need to take a shower."

Aya could only send beams of resentment through his narrowed eyes at the blonde playboy as he sauntered down the hallway and into the bathroom.  A few seconds later they heard the tap squeak and Yoji's off-key singing floated through the sounds of running water.

"1, 2, Bobby's coming for you, 3,4, better lock your door…"

Ken grinned at the familiar Drunken Tiger lyrics and looked at Aya, who appeared to be debating whether or not to just throw Yoji off the roof once and for all.

Aya still had his glare on when he turned his head and met Ken's grin, his anger melting away to shock.  Unable to think of anything to say, he looped an arm around the brunette's waist and guided him down the flight of carpeted stairs.  Unseen by Aya, Ken was blushing the entire time, pleasantly surprised by the sensation of the older man's cool bare arm around his too-hot skin.  

"Um, thanks," he stammered nervously as Aya pulled out a chair for him.  With a soft groan, he lowered himself into the seat and stretched his aching legs out underneath the table.  Looking up, he met Aya's sharp amethyst gaze and lowered his eyes, pretending to be examining the front-page headlines.  New tax cuts?  Ew, that was boring.  

"Where are the comics?" he muttered to himself absently as Aya slid bread into the toaster.  Business section, stocks, realty, where the hell were the funnies?  

"Aha!" he cried as he held up the section triumphantly.  Aya raised an eyebrow at his exclamation but said nothing.  Ken blushed again, and Aya's mouth quirked at the familiar red staining his cheeks.  Setting down a plate of toast, he put the jam on the table and wiped his hands on a paper towel.

"I have to check on Omi, Yoji should be out of the shower soon so you won't be alone."  Ken nodded, absorbed in the task of spreading grape jam on his piece of toast.  Aya fixed hawk eyes on him and asked,

"O genki desu ka?"

Ken looked up and nodded, forcing a smile on his face for Aya.  "Hai hai, genki desu!"

Satisfied, Aya donned his apron and headed towards the Koneko.  

Once he heard the sound of the door closing, Ken dropped his toast on the plate and heaved a sigh.  The room always seemed a bit too warm when Aya was in the vicinity.  Which, he reflected, was something of an oxymoron since Aya was the original ice man cometh.

Perhaps not an ice man, he mused.  More like an angel…A snow angel.

Yes, Aya was a snow angel.  Beautiful, flawless, cold and pristine…Something to admire but never to keep.  Something he could touch but never hold.  Why was Aya so unreachable?  What on earth could possibly make the snow angel melt?  Ken had an idea, but he would never dare to let Aya know of his affections for him.

"This is just a crush," he told himself, but his voice was so small in the airy kitchen that it sounded quite unconvincing.  

"This is just a crush," he repeated, "a stupid, ambivalent crush!" His last statement was shouted to the ceiling while Ken waved his toast for emphasis.  A splotch of jam flew in the air and hit Yoji's white long-sleeve t-shirt.

"K'so…Ken, could you deliver your speeches without the visual aids next time?" he complained, wiping at the purple spot with a napkin.

Ken turned a deep shade of crimson, fervently hoping that Yoji did _not_ know who he had been talking about.

"So, you have a stupid, ambivalent crush on Aya, eh?"

Well, so much for that hope.

Ken kept his eyes glued to the comics as Yoji took a seat across from him.  "Hai," he mumbled.

Yoji reached over and swiped his uneaten toast, munching thoughtfully.  "Sooo…."

"So what?"

"So tell him."

"Nani?!!"

"Tell Fujimiya your feelings."

He stared at Yoji in openmouthed shock.  "I thought _I'm_ supposed to be the sick one around here, are you out of your mind??"

Yoji couldn't contain a grin as Ken turned an interesting shade of mottled red and purple.  "Calm down, Kenken, all I'm saying is that he'll never know unless you tell him…Isn't that right, Aya?"

_"Isn't that right, Aya?"_

_"right, Aya?"_

_"Aya…"_

Yoji's words banged around in his brain as horror filled him with an icy sensation.  The aforementioned playboy winked cheerily at Aya, who had just returned and was standing behind Ken.  In a sudden regaining of his motor skills, Ken leapt out of the chair and sprinted into the den, slamming the door shut behind him as his legs turned into wet noodles and he slid to the floor.  

He could hear the scrape of Yoji pushing back his chair, and then two pairs of footsteps making their way towards the den.  Struggling upright, he pushed the lock on the doorknob in and rocked back on his palms, fingers digging into the soft green carpet.  Shimatta…he was going to _kill_ Yoji…

Groaning in complete embarrassment, Ken dragged his sore body over to the couch and sank down into the cushions, wishing he had Floppy with him.  Unknown to most, Floppy was a ragged brown dog that he had kept since before Weiss, before he could remember… Sometimes, after a particularly grueling mission, he would reach under his bed and pull out the dusty childhood remnant, holding it tightly and wishing he could wash away the blood on his hands with his tears.  He knew it was dumb, but stuffed animals didn't judge; they gave comfort and expected nothing in return.

In a way, they were everything Aya was not.  In a way, _Ken _was everything Aya was not.  They were polar opposites, so why did the red-haired bishonen still manage to throw his senses out of whack and his entire consciousness into overdrive?  

Grabbing a large, slightly lumpy pillow, he hugged it to his bare chest and shivered.  

"Why am I not wearing a sweater?  Gods, it's 30 degrees outside, and about 22 in here…" he muttered.  A knock at the door interrupted his vocal ruminations and he pulled the pillow closer, calling out,

"Nobody's home!"

Yoji sounded exasperated as he yelled through the door, "I have to go in for my shift now, but you better come out of there eventually!"  The hollow sound of his footsteps receded down the hallway and back into the kitchen, where Ken could hear him exiting through the back.  He listened carefully for a minute, waiting for any other noises.  From the silence that reached his ears, he figured Aya was gone as well.  Which, of course, made him totally unprepared for the body that burst through the door two seconds later, sending him diving for cover under the afghan on the couch.

Terrified, Ken tensed underneath the heavy blanket and nearly fell off the couch when someone sat down on the wide cushions next to him.  For a long time, neither person moved until Ken felt the afghan being gently tugged away from his head, and his face gradually appeared over top of the fuzzy quilt.  Iridescent violet eyes bored holes into his, freezing him in place while a cool hand smoothed away the long coffee bangs that fell across his forehead.  Ken gave an involuntary shiver and a frown crossed the porcelain of Aya's face.  Lifting Ken's shoulderblades free of the couch, he felt the back of the younger boy's neck.  

"You're fever is rising," he informed him, but all Ken could recognize was the word 'fever.'  He was drowning in Aya's smooth, deep voice, rational thought slipping out of his grasp as the sickness crept up on him.  

Ken tried to say something but Aya couldn't catch it.  Bending his head over the soccer player's, he heard,

"I'm fine."

Aya narrowed his eyes and pressed Ken back down into the pillows.  

"You can stay here for now, it's warmer in the den than upstairs."  Ken was about to argue that heat rose from the bottom up, but found himself wanting to stay on that couch forever, sandwiched between the cushions and Aya's body bent over top of him.  

Hearing no more protests out of Ken, Aya began to stand up.  Two long arms latched onto his, trying feebly to pull him back onto the couch.  Aya looked into glassy brown eyes and sat down once more, tucking the blanket more firmly around Ken's upper body.  Ken could only close his eyes and surrender to sleep, hoping Aya would be there when he woke up.

It was all Aya could do to watch him slip into slumber and restrain himself from cradling the lean body in his arms, hoping his dreams would be sweet.  

A/N:  Yayy!! I wrote this purdy darn fast, too!  But, I must confess, while I was –cough- skipping band –cough- I went to the library to check my reviews, and I only got 6 more for the second chapter!  Plleaasee remember to review, because I honestly want to know what you guys think!  I worked hard to get the third chapter out, and it's getting good (well, I think it is, at least ^^) so peeeeezzzz just write a few words in a review and help me out.  ^^  I really do love you all. 

Aya: Greedy.

K-chan: Whaa??

Omi: Please, minna, no fighting today!

K-chan: Hai, but you better watch your back tomorrow, Fujimiya!  The lemon cometh!

Aya: I'll bring tissues for your nosebleed.

K-chan: Quiet, you.

Ja ne,

K-chan ^^

More A/N:  Here's a Japanese dictionary for the terms I used in this story so far, because a reviewer asked for them, so this is for you, Lark57 ^___^

_Shi-ne: _Die!  (often said by Aya during the anime)

_Gomen nasai: _I'm very sorry.

_Hai: _Yes

_O genki desu ka?: _Are you allright?

_Genki desu: _I'm allright.

_K'so/Kuso: _Shit!

_Ja ne: _See ya!

_Nani: _What

_Ne: _Emphatic, used before or after sentences for emphasis

_-kun: _honorific used for people you are familiar with who are either your own age or a few years older

_-chan: _suffix used for close friends or very young children

_-san: _honorific used by adults when speaking of each other or by people for those they respect, like Mr. and Mrs. in English

_Ohayo: _Good morning!

_Daijobu desu ka?: _You're allright?

_Daijobu: _I'm allright.

_Chotto matte: _Hey, wait.

_Iie: _No.

_Shimimasen: _I don't know.

_Aa: _Yes.


	4. Chapter 4

I'll Share Hell With You

Chapter 4- Tentative vs. Timid

Disclaimer: Oh, I am the rice queen, the rice queen, the rice queen…

Aya: No more KitKat's for you.

Yoji: Ever.

K-chan: But they're so gooodddd…

Omi: Ne, I thought this was the disclaimer.

K-chan: Lord Nelson's trousers, you're right, young Omittchi.  Unfortunately, I have completely forgotten what to say.

Ken: **-**imitates K-chan's voice- Weiss Kreuz and affiliates belong to Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss-

Yoji: And also that Kyoko chick who drew those kick-ass mangas-

Omi: In which Yoji looks infinitely better with brown hair-

Yoji: Aw, thanks, koibito.

K-chan: Shh!  You're spoiling the surprise!

Yoji: Damn.

Ken: -still imitating her voice- Aaaand, today's features song comes from J-pop group Kiroro, the lyrics translated from the song Nagai Aida (A Long Time.)

Omi: K-chan wanted to use Kang Ta, but after listening to number 11 on Polaris for nine hours strait-

K-chan: Back, back, bishonen!  Back I say!

Yoji: Enjoy the fic! –runs away-

                                                                                                                                                                        "Will he keep having spells like that?"

                                                                                                                                                                        "Most likely, for the duration of the illness.  If he doesn't overexert himself, he should only nod off a few times a day.  Just make sure he's not wearing himself out."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Arigatou.  Ja ne."  Yoji hung up the phone and relayed Dr. Ceiskel's advice to Aya, who had been left to deal with the after-school crush of fangirls in the Koneko.

                                                                                                                                                                        "Well that leaves him out of any missions this week.  He'd be a liability without his full strength back."

                                                                                                                                                                        Yoji nodded in agreement, keeping his voice low as he repotted a plant.  "Omi's about to collapse himself, that's why I left him with Ken.  Even if he's not sick, I think he's suffering from exhaustion."

                                                                                                                                                                        Aya didn't miss the note of worry in his teammate's voice, nor was he blind to the forced cheerfulness he showed the customers.  He knew the blonde playboy was acting overprotective, but he didn't know exactly why.  Keeping his opinions to himself, he dusted off his hands and called out,

                                                                                                                                                                        "Who's next?"

                                                                                                                                                                        Two seconds later, he was mobbed on all sides by high school girls clamoring to get his attention and waving various assortments of flowers.  He shot a look at Yoji, who was slinking off towards the back room.

                                                                                                                                                                        "Kudou!  Get back here!"

                                                                                                                                                                        Yoji threw him a cheerful salute and slipped out the door, once again leaving Aya to the mercy of overly-genki females.  Struggling to remain calm, he grabbed a carnation arrangement from one girl's outstretched hands and made his way to the cash register.  Disappointed wails arose from the other unfortunates while their peer gave them a smug smile and flounced over to the counter.  Aya seriously doubted the majority of these girls even took care of the flowers once they left the shop, but business was business and at least they were buying something.  

                                                                                                                                                                        As he was clipping the leaves of another girl's chrysanthemum, he heard a voice say from the backdoor,

                                                                                                                                                                        "Gomen, Aiko-chan, but Ken-kun's not feeling well this week.  I'll tell him you said hello."

                                                                                                                                                                        Another, female voice answered, "Can you give him these flowers, then?  I brought them from my neighbor's garden."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Hai, he'll be glad to see them.  Arigatou gozaimes."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Arigatou, Omi-kun.  Sayonara."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Ja ne."

                                                                                                                                                                        The tinkling of a bell announced Aiko's exit from the shop.  Aya turned to regard Omi standing in the back, holding a bouquet of delphiniums.  The youngest Weiss member looked almost apologetic as he waved to Aya and disappeared around the doorframe.  The older assassin had to keep his anger in check as he handed the chrysanthemum's owner her pot and took off his apron.  Excusing himself to the disappointed crowd, he laid the apron down on the counter and climbed the small flight of stairs into the house.  If Yoji was on break, he was probably with Omi and Ken, and he could get at least one of the blondes to take over his solitary shift.    
                                                                                                                                                                        As he entered Ken's bedroom, Yoji jumped to his feet and tried to replace his guilty expression with one of indifference as Omi blushed and set the flowers in a vase of water on Ken's desk.  Aya merely raised an eyebrow while Omi coughed and stood up, saying,

                                                                                                                                                                        "I should be getting to the shop now.  Thanks for filling in for me, Aya-kun."

                                                                                                                                                                        Aya nodded and fixed Yoji with a critical eye as Omi made a hasty retreat.  Yoji held up his hands defensively.

                                                                                                                                                                        "You have a sick mind."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Not half so sick as yours," was Aya's retort.  He sat down in the unoccupied chair and watched the rise and fall of Ken's chest.  Yoji shifted uneasily.

                                                                                                                                                                        "Seriously though, I didn't touch him."

                                                                                                                                                                        "You better not."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Doshite??"  Realizing his slip, Yoji cringed and waited.  Aya looked mildly amused.

                                                                                                                                                                        "I won't have you corrupting the innocent, Kudou."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Omi is far from innocent."

                                                                                                                                                                        "He needs stability and attention, you jump from lover to lover."

                                                                                                                                                                        Yoji sat back down on the opposite side of the bed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and shrugging.  "I could change."

                                                                                                                                                                        "For him?"

                                                                                                                                                                        "Yes."

                                                                                                                                                                        Aya looked back to Ken, not replying.  Yoji twisted the hem of his shirt, dearly wishing for a cigarette.  When in doubt, change the subject.

                                                                                                                                                                        "What are you going to do about Ken?"

                                                                                                                                                                        "What is there to be done?"

                                                                                                                                                                        "Don't play dumb, Fujimiya, I know you have feelings for him."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Hn."

                                                                                                                                                                        "You both know he likes you now, he's going to be nervous when he wakes up."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Nervous?"

                                                                                                                                                                        "That you'll ignore him or refuse his affection."

                                                                                                                                                                        Silence.

                                                                                                                                                                        "You can't play him out like that, Aya, you have to tell him one way or another.  It's eating him up inside, but just before the proverbial shit hit the fan, he passed out.  Convenient for him, but he's going to be mucho embarrassed when he wakes up."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Didn't know you were a Spanish scholar, Kudou."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Stop avoiding the inevitable."

                                                                                                                                                                        "Well isn't the pot calling the kettle black; the minute I start talking about Omi you jump on me about Ken."

                                                                                                                                                                        "The only one who has a problem with it is you; Omi and I are fine by ourselves."  Yoji was red by now, but he continued, his voicing rising with every word.  "You're just afraid that if someone likes you, you might crack your shell and start liking them, too!  Why is a relationship so threatening to you?  Are you afraid of losing your reputation as a cold-hearted bastard?"

                                                                                                                                                                        Aya stood up, his normally calm voice tight with anger as he hissed, "Don't patronize me, Kudou, you are in _no_ position to start criticizing my actions!  Don't mouth off about what you can't, and never will, understand!  Is that clear?  Or do I have to ram it through your lazy, manipulative, nicotine-addicted head?  Your hands and mine are far too blood-stained to accept any sort of affection whatsoever; none of us are innocent in this house!"

                                                                                                                                                                        And with that, he left the room, slamming the door behind him.  Yoji could only stare at his retreating figure in shocked silence, shaken out of his stupor only by the sound of Ken stirring on the bed.  He leaned over the feverish brunette, carefully untangling the twisted sheets around his legs.  Something on Ken's face caught his eye, and he lifted up his sunglasses to peer at the silvery tear-tracks running down past his chin.  Shaking his head ruefully, he leaned his back against the chair and spoke to the wide-awake assassin.

                                                                                                                                                                        "Gomen nasai, Ken."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aya sat in his room, facing the wall with his back to the door.  His fists were clenched tightly and tears threatened to overflow in his pale amethyst eyes.  But he was too old to cry…

_"Oniiiisan, what's wrong?"_

_"Nanimo, Aya-chan, I'm just sad today."_

_"Did you hurt yourself?"_

_"Iie."_

_"Were the customers mean at the restaurant again?  'Cuz if they were, I can go beat 'em up for you."_

_Ran smiled at his imouto, who was doing her best to look intimidating by narrowing her dark eyes and putting up her fists in a boxing stance._

_"Iie, nothing happened.  I don't know why I feel sad, your 'niisan is just baka today."_

_The little girl frowned and sat in his lap.  "Maybe if Ran-niisan had a pretty girlfriend he wouldn't be sad."_

_"Nani?  I don't want a girlfriend, Aya-chan."_

_She was unfazed.  "Then you can have a pretty boyfriend."_

_Ran looked so surprised that she fell off his lap, giggling as she jumped on his back and demanded a ride home.  "Hai, hai, a pretty boyfriend for Ran-niisan!"_

_Two years later…_

_"Oniisan, doko desu ka?  Oniiiiisannn!"_

_"Koko, I'm here Aya-chan.  What is it?"_

_"Will you listen to me practice my song for the talent show?"_

_"Oh, I don't know, Aya-chan, I'm really busy with homework…"_

_"Onegai?  I'll just sing the chorus part, hai?"_

_Ran smiled at his cheerful imouto.  "Hai, that would be nice."_

_Aya-chan grinned and cleared her throat, clasping her hands behind her as she began singing._
    
    _"Ki zuita no anata ga konna ni_
    
    _Mune no naka ni iru koto_
    
    _Ai shiteru masaka ne_
    
    _Sona koto ienai_
    
    _Waratteru anata no soba de wa_
    
    _Sunao ni nareru no_
    
    _Ai shiteru demo masaka ne_
    
    _Sona koto ienai_
    
    _Ki zuita no anata ga konna ni_
    
    _Mune no naka ni iru koto_
    
    _Ai shiteru masaka ne_
    
    _Sona koto ienai_
    
    _Waratteru anata no soba de wa_
    
    _Sunao ni nareru no_
    
    _Ai shiteru demo masaka ne_
    
    _Sona koto ienai…"_
    
    _(("I've realized how much_
    
    _You're in my heart_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _But I couldn't possibly say such a thing_
    
    _When you're laughing and_
    
    _I'm by your side, I can be meek_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _But I couldn't possibly say such a thing_
    
    _I've realized how much_
    
    _You're in my heart_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _But I couldn't possibly say such a thing_
    
    _When you're laughing and_
    
    _I'm by your side, I can be meek_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _But I couldn't possibly say such a thing…"))_
    
    _Aya-chan stopped singing and looked at her brother, alarmed to see tears on his face._
    
    _"What's wrong, 'niisan?  You don't like my song?"_
    
    _Ran smiled through his tears, wiping them away with the back of his hand.  "Iie, it was very pretty.  It just made me happy to hear you singing so beautiful, now go away and let me finish my work."_
    
    _"Okaasan!  Okaasan!  I made Ran-niisan cry and smile at the same time!  And he always says he's too old to cry!"  Aya-chan skipped out of the room, yelling down the hallway._
    
    _"Too old to cry…"_
    
    _"He always says he's too old to cry…"_
    
    _"Ran-niisan…"_
    
    Aya jolted upright, wiping away the tears in contempt as he heard a knock on his door.  
    
    "Nani?"
    
    "Aya?"
    
    He stiffened as he recognized Ken's voice.
    
    "You should be in bed, Ken!" he called out, still facing the wall.
    
    The door opened and he could hear timid bare footsteps creeping across the carpeted floor.  Ken stopped at the foot of the bed, apprehensive.  Aya refused to turn around, unwilling to look at the boy who was causing him so much internal conflict.
    
    "Aya…um, about what Yoji said…"
    
    "Forget it."
    
    "N-nani?"
    
    "I said forget it.  He doesn't know what he's talking about."
    
    "I…oh."
    
    "Is there something else you needed?" he asked in annoyance.
    
    "Iie.  Sorry to bother you."
    
    "Go back to bed."
    
    "I'm, I'm feeling better now.  I think I can help out in the Kone-
    
    "No."
    
    "But I'm feel-
    
    "I said NO, Ken."  By now, Ken began to feel frightened at the tone of Aya's voice, positive the older assassin was either going to yell at him or drag him back into his own room.  But, he also had his pride, and Ken Hidaka was no coward.
    
    "I'm not a child, you can't tell me what I can and can't do."
    
    Aya stood up and walked over to Ken until he was a foot away from the other Weiss.  "The doctors said not to overexert yourself, you're not going back to work until you're completely well again."
    
    "They don't know-
    
    "If I hear one more word of protest, I'm going to shoot you with a horse tranquilizer!"  In the space of an instant, Aya had crossed the room and shoved the other boy against the wall, his face a mere two inches away from Ken's.  Ken gulped and stared into purple almonds of rage, though pinioned as he was by Aya's hands on his shoulders, he couldn't escape.
    
    "The Kritiker doctors know more than you do about this, Ken, Weiss can't afford to have you making yourself even more ill!  Why won't you listen to reason and stop arguing with me?"
    
    "I just hate lying around and feeling helpless, Aya!  I don't _want _people waiting on me and bringing me god damn flowers!  If I can move, I can work, and I don't need you acting like an obsessive compulsive housewife!"  Aya opened his mouth to reply but Ken wasn't quite finished.
    
    "And another thing, everything Yoji said was true, and you know it!  Why do you close yourself off to people, Aya?  Why can't you accept that-
    
    Ken's sentence was cut off sudden by Aya's mouth on his, stifling any further comments he might have made.  He had only just begun to register what was happening when the contact was severed and Aya pulled back, glaring balefully at the flushed brunette who he still had up against the wall.  Letting go of his younger teammate's shoulders, he freed his prisoner and stepped back, mentally cursing his abrupt actions.  
    
                   Once he was free, Ken found that his legs wouldn't support him and he began sliding to the floor.  Aya caught him around the waist and hauled him to his feet as the pair made their way back to Ken's room.  Ken offered no complaint, realizing the doctors were right and that he had little energy to spare.  His head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds as he rested it against the smooth muscle of Aya's shoulder, one arm around his lower back as the violet-eyed man supported the majority of his weight down the hallway.   
    
                   Pushing the door open with one hand, Aya carefully set the exhausted boy onto the bed and pulled up the covers around him.  When asked if he needed anything, Ken shook his head no and leaned back on the pillows.  About to leave, Aya was stopped by a coffee-brown gaze and a hoarsely whispered sentence from the tired brunette.
    
                   "Please stay."
    
                   Aya, nodding, sat on the desk chair.  Ken closed his eyes and turned away on his side, cheeks flaming as he spoke again.
    
                   "If, if you're tired, you can sleep in the bed too."  
    
                   Hesitating, Aya slid under the covers and put as much distance as he could between himself and Ken.  After a few minutes, he listened to the even breathing coming from the other side of the bed and determined that the youth was asleep.  Tentatively, he scooted forward and slid his arms around the silent dreamer, pulling Ken back against his own narrow chest.  Then, with his head leaning forward on the other boy's shoulderblade, he closed his eyes and let down his guard for that stolen moment.  When Yoji found them forty minutes later, he smiled and turned off the light, closing the door softly behind him.
    
    A/N:  On Friday night, I'm leaving for a week-long spring break in Japan to visit my brother, but I'm bringing my handy-dandy laptop with me so I'll be able to check my mail and work on the next chapter.  Please be patient with me, though, because I'll probably be very busy all this week finishing any projects that are due after spring break.  Remember to review, minna, and have a good vacation!
    
    More Japanese dictionary words:
    
    _Arigatou: _Thank you.
    
    _Arigatou gozaimes: _Thank you very much.
    
    _Koibito: _Boyfriend/girlfriend, sweetheart
    
    _Doshite: _Why?
    
    _Sayonara: _Goodbye
    
    _Nanimo: _Nothing
    
    _Oniisan: _Older brother
    
    _Imouto: _Little Sister
    
    _Baka: _silly/stupid
    
    _Doko desu ka?:_ Where are you?
    
    _Koko: _Here.
    
    _Okaasan: _Mom


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Blah de blah, Weiss Kreuz isn't mine, you know the drill…

Warnings: Kinda angsty today, just a little bit of sap and a little bit of sorrow to stir the broth… K-chan had a bad day, and she just found out something that made her feel like crap, so forgive the poor quality of writing for this installment.

Disclaimer on the song:  "Mirror," by Gackt, belongs to Gackt Camui and Nippon something something, I dunno, I just like the song and the damn lyrics fit this chapter…

Enjoy, minna…

Ken woke up in a place he had never woken up in before, in fact, it was a completely unfamiliar position that he found himself in a few hours after he had drifted off.  He was still on the couch, but somehow, Aya had wound up underneath him, his arms wrapped loosely around Ken's waist, trapping him against the warmth of his chest.  His head was resting on Ken's shoulder, next to his neck.  Ken hardly dared to breathe for fear he would wake up his sleeping savior.

He tilted his head slightly to look at the circular clock hanging on the wall; it was 7:30 in the morning.  Well, apparently, he had slept for _more_ than a few hours.  But, he noticed with relief, he didn't feel half so sick as he had the previous night.  He still felt a little woozy, but not so far as to be nauseous.  As he was contemplating the ways he could get up without waking Aya, the redheaded assassin opened his eyes, blinked, and looked up at the curious youth above him.  Ken cocked his head to the side as if examining him, and Aya couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked.  

"Ohayo gozaimes, Aya-kun."

Aya grunted and shifted so that Ken was lying next to him rather than on top of him.  Luckily he seemed to be in a state of early-morning peace, seeing as he was neither glaring nor pushing Ken off of the couch and onto the shag-carpet floor.  Much as he wanted to take advantage of this situation, he _really _had to pee.

"Um, Aya?"

"Nani?" he replied groggily.

"I uh, have to go to the bathroom…"

"Hai."  Aya rolled over and released his captive, facing the back of the couch as his breathing evened and he dozed off again.  With a sigh of relief, Ken sat up and shut the door of the den bathroom behind him, taking the liberty to rinse off his pale face as well.  He stared at himself in the mirror, cringing at the dark shadows under his eyes, eyes that seemed too big and out of place under his messy brown bangs.  His lips were cracked and his cheeks were hollow; "I look like crap," he muttered in disgust.  "You're a weakling, Hidaka, a pathetic excuse for an assassin who can't even take care of himself."  He forced his gaze away from the mirror, unable to stand the sight of himself any longer.  

When he crept back into the den, Aya was laying on his back with his eyes closed.  Thinking the other Weiss was still asleep, he opened the door to the den.  

"Ken?"

He froze with his hand on the doorknob and turned around to look at the fully-awake Aya.  "Hai?"

Aya sat up and looked at him through calm violet eyes, not saying anything.  Ken fidgeted with the drawstring of his pants, slightly uncomfortable.  Finally, he had to break the silence.

"Um, about last night…"

"Hai?"

"Er, I'm sorry about falling asleep on you and everything, and, and I'm sorry about kind of blowing up at you…"

"Ken."  He looked up from where he had been studying the floor.  Aya waved his hand, beckoning him closer.  Slowly, Ken walked over to the couch and sat down on the very edge, once more averting his gaze.

"Look at me."  Did he know what he was asking?  Ken brought his coffee brown eyes up to meet the amethyst gaze, gulping nervously once he made contact.  The slightest ghost of a smile hovered about Aya's thin lips as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Ken's.

"Don't apologize."

Ken closed his eyes as Aya's mouth found his, carefully, silently asking him for acceptance.  

And Ken gave it to him without a moment's hesitation.

His lips parted slightly as Aya, growing bolder, slipped his tongue in and applied pressure, tasting every inch of Ken's warm wet mouth.  Ken moaned as Aya kissed the corner of his mouth, venturing lower to nip at the golden expanse of his neck.  He threw his head back and braced himself against the armrest as Aya moved on top of him, dancing kisses down his neck to his collarbone.

Ken wrapped his arms around Aya's waist and Ken pulled him down, his fingertips digging into Aya's bare back; all the while the latter was using his mouth to explore every inch of Ken's exposed skin.  Aya's mouth found its way back to Ken's, which was just as well, because Ken felt like he was going to faint from the attention being lavished upon his body.  

Just as Aya's hand strayed neared the drawstring of Ken's pants, the door opened and Omi walked in.  Spotting the couple on the couch, he turned tomato red and went right back out.  Ken groaned as Aya pushed himself up and ran a shaking hand through his hair.  

"Guess he's a bit too young for voyeurism," Ken choked out weakly.  A tiny grin tugged at the corner of Aya's lips as he sat on Ken's waist, drawing in a haggard breath.  The door opened once more and Ken looked up to see Yoji grinning at him.

The blonde assassin put his hands on his hips and shook his head, apparently at a loss for words.  

"_Damn, _Kenken…"

Ken blushed as Omi poked his head around the older man's chest, his cornflower blue eyes wide open in surprise.  "Ne, Aya-kun and Ken-kun, it's time to open the shop."

Yoji winked at Ken and turned towards the door, ruffling Omi's hair before exiting the room.  Omi followed close behind.

Ken looked up at Aya.  "I guess we should go too."

Aya nodded and climbed off of the brunette, extending a hand for Ken.  He took it and Aya pulled him off the couch effortlessly, breaking off the contact once they were both standing upright.  There was a pregnant pause before Ken blushed, coughed, and said

"Right, well then…" before nearly running out the door.  Aya sighed and bent down to put the pillows back in their proper places before he too, left the den.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later…

"Kimi no me ni utsutteru boku no egao wa subete ga mukuwarenai

saisho kara wakatteta hazu na no ni..."

Reflected in your eyes, my face doesn't return anything

From the beginning you must have known...

Ken looked up at the ceiling of his room as the J-rock lyrics began trickling through the wall, growing louder as Yoji turned up the volume.

"Kono oozora no shita e tobikonde

hitori kiri de...

boku no kowareta karada wa kimi no ude de uketomerareru kana…"

Rush down underneath these heavens

By yourself...

I wonder if your arms can catch my fostered body…

He turned on his side, trying to escape the music and the haunting lyrics that hit too close to home.  No good, he could still hear it.

"Shinjiru mono wa sukuwareru nante

iiwake jouzu na tenshi no tawagoto de kami-sama mo uso ga jouzu…"

"I'll save the things I believe in" you say

The angels are good at excuses with their nonsense, but god's also good at lying 

"Kudou!  Turn it down, damnit!"  He yelled hoarsely.  Yoji banged his fist against the wall in reply, turning down the volume a few notches.  But he could still hear it… Why did this song make him so sad?  Aya loved him now… Well, no, he didn't love him.  But he liked him.  And that's all he had wanted from the beginning, right?

"Boku no me ni utsutteru kimi no namida wa subete ga mayakashi de

saigo ni wa waratteta hazu na no ni..."

Reflected in my eyes, your tears are all phony

In the end I knew you must be smiling...

What was love, anyways?  Ken sure as hell didn't know, and he didn't need it either.  Aya had kissed him today, he wasn't the kind to just play with people's minds like that, play with their emotions.

"But he knows how I feel about him now…"

Did it matter? His inner voice reasoned.  You have his attention now, you have his affection.  That's what you wanted.  You don't want anything more, you don't need promises or declarations of love, because love just leads to pain.  

"That's not always true…"

Yes it is.  You loved Kase, looked what that got you.  Are you going to kill Aya, too?

"I don't love Aya."

Exactly.

"Kono oozora no shita e dakiatte

futari kiri de...

boku no kowareta kokoro ni kimi no koe ga todokimasu you ni sakende...

soshite

motto kyuuto dakishimete…"

Embrace each other underneath these heavens

The two of us...

Your voice shouts, like it's reaching out to my broken heart...

And then

Hold me tighter

"Yoji, _please _turn that off…" Tears were rolling down his cheeks now, but he didn't realize it.  He couldn't really feel anything at all, except a steady ache in his heart that told him he was lying to himself.

"Yoji…"

"Nanika o eru tame ni nanika o ushinatte daremo ga kizutsuiteru…"

In order to get something, you have to lose something and someone will be hurt

But tears don't wash away blood and sin, Kenken…his nasty inner voice taunted him.  You can sit here crying like a helpless infant, or you can forget about how he feels about you.  He doesn't love you, Ken, no one does and no one ever will.  You're not worthy of love, all you get is a body.

"I don't want just a body…"

What do you want, Ken?  You want love and protection?  You want someone to hold you and tell you it will be allright?  To shower you with compliments?  This is _Aya, _Ken.  Aya won't do that for you.

"I didn't ask him to do that…"

So why are you crying?

"Kono ooki na omoi ga todokanai kara

hitoomoi ni...

boku no konagona no kokoro ni kimi no yubi de saigo no todome o sashite…"

Because if these great emotions don't reach out

Courageously...

Your finger will strike the last blow to my shattered heart

"I'm not, I'm not crying…"

Yes you are.  You're crying and you're pathetic.  No wonder Aya doesn't love you.  I don't know he can stand to touch you.

"Urusai…"

You're only hurting yourself, Aya doesn't care about you.

"Urusai…"

He never will care about you, either.  You're a fucking murderer.

"UruSAI…"

A murdererrrrr…Kenken's a murdererrrrrrr… No one will ever love Kenken…

"URUSAI!!"  Ken screamed and slammed his fist through the wall, puncturing a hole in the plaster and plywood.  He crumpled to the ground, his shoulders heaving with sobs as Yoji and Aya came running in.  Yoji hauled him to his feet but Aya shook his head wordlessly.  Yoji looked at Ken worriedly before leaving them alone in the room.

"Ken."

Ken wouldn't look up, just pressed his face into Aya's shirt and whispered, "urusai, urusai…"

"Ken, do you want me to go away?"

"I-ie…Don't, don't leave me…"

Aya sat on his knees, cradling Ken's body to him.  "I'd never leave you."

"Yes you would," he whispered through his tears.

"Doshite?"

"Because…you don't love me."

Aya was silent for a minute.  Ken didn't dare look at his face, he didn't want to see his reaction.

"Why do you think I don't love you?"

Well, he didn't expect that reaction.  Aya went on.

"Is it because I don't say it?  Do you want me to say it?"

Ken nodded wordlessly, still with his head buried in Aya's shirt.

"Ken, we've been…together for a week.  Even Yoji and Omi are better at hiding it than we are.  We haven't had a mission in eight days, but now that you're well again, Manx will be giving us another assignment soon."  He paused a moment.  "I didn't say it because I thought, I thought you wouldn't need me anymore."

Ken was shellshocked.  Aya sounded…nervous?  Aya thought he didn't _need_ him anymore?

"Are you crazy??  I fucking love you Aya!  What did you think?  That I needed you just while I was sick?  People need medicine when they're sick, not a fuck buddy."

Aya blinked at the crude term, even more surprised that it was coming from Ken's mouth.  "You love me?"

"_Yes_, Aya.  I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." The sentence was muffled from Ken pressing his face once more into Aya's chest.  They sat together on the floor like that for some time, neither of them uttering another word.  Ken was grateful for the warmth of Aya's arms around him, but the ache in his heart had grown tenfold with the realization that he had just told Aya he loved him, yet Aya had not said he loved him too.

"Boku no konagona no kokoro ni kimi no yubi de saigo no todome o sashite…"

Your finger will strike the last blow to my shattered heart… 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: ****holds up Koyasu Takehito mask  Oh yes, Weiss Kreuz belongs to me, and it's all mine mine mine, and I'm not _reaaallllyyy_ married, that's just my back-up wife.  

Aya:  You are sad.

I am not, I'm just optimistic.

Aya: For shame.  Impersonating my seiyuu.

Mm, well, you made Kenken cry, so this chapter is very Yoji/Omi-centric.  Enjoy, minna!

"Aya-kun, have you seen Ken-kun?"

"Iie."  The response was abrupt.

"Yoji, have _you _seen Ken-kun?"

"Gomen, bishonen."  The response was affectionate.  Omi frowned, torn between studying on the couch with Yoji or finding Ken, the superior mathematician between the two.  He didn't always act like it, but Ken was actually very bright when it came to calculus.  

He sighed, knowing there was no third option.  In earlier days, he would have asked Aya, but the stony Weiss leader seemed even more so than usual ever since Ken punched a hole in his wall.  

"Something wrong, Omittchi?"

He shook his head.  "Nanimo.  I just need to study for a test next Friday."

"What subject?"

"Calculus."

Yoji winced.  "Can't help you there, kid.  Why don't you ask Aya?"

The redhead didn't look up from his book.  

"Aya-kun?  Can you help me study for my calculus exam?"

"Aa."  Well, that problem was solved.  

"Ne, arigatou," Omi said gratefully, plunking himself down between Yoji and Aya on the couch.  He opened his textbook to the third chapter and handed his review sheet to Aya.  

"Okay, we'll start with mean value theorems…"  

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang and Aya got up to answer it, giving Omi the universal 'one minute' sign.  Yoji took this as an opportunity to slide his arms around Omi and pull him back until the youngest Weiss was seated in his lap.  

Omi smiled as Yoji dropped a kiss on his head.  "We didn't mean to bore you, Yoji-kun."  

"What gave you the idea I was bored?" he asked innocently, resting his chin on Omi's shoulder.

"I can…tell…" his voice trailed off as he yawned and stretched his arms.  Yoji grinned at the sleepy bishonen and tickled his ribs.

"Wakey wakey, Omittchi, we wouldn't want Aya's star pupil falling asleep…"

"We wouldn't want his star pupil being fondled by hentai older men, either," came the sharp retort.  Aya crossed his arms and glared at the intimate scene.  Omi blushed and hopped off of Yoji's lap, gathering his notes in a flustered attempt to flee the room.  Yoji was not so easily jarred, however.

"What's wrong, Aya?  You and Ken have a lover's quarrel?"

If at all possible, Aya's facial expression grew three degrees colder.  "What goes on between us is none of your business; at least I'm not molesting a minor."

"Aya-kun!" Omi protested.

"Who's molesting a minor?"  Ken walked through the front door, having missed the entire conversation.

"No one, Kenken, we were just having a friendly discussion about pedophilia."  Yoji winked and pried his lanky body off the couch before taking Omi's textbook and disappearing through the back door.  Omi, looking a little nonplussed, stacked his notes in his arms and followed the retreating figure.

Ken didn't even look at Aya as he moved into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and sticking his head inside.

"Where were you?"

"Out."

Ken closed the refrigerator, not finding anything to his liking.  "Does that bother you?"

"No."

"Oh." He sounded slightly disappointed, but hid it well as he began walking towards the stairs.  Aya followed.

"Why would it bother me?"

Ken paused in mid-flight and Aya craned his head to look at him from the bottom of the staircase.

"Sou desu, that's right.  You're the one who doesn't care about me."

"Nani?"

"Nevermind.  Forget I said anything."  

"Ken."

He turned around at the top stair, one hand on the railing.

"We need to talk."

"Gomen, but I'm kind of tired.  I think I'll turn in early tonight."

Aya looked at his watch.  It was 7:30.  "Are you feeling alright?"

"Mmm, I just had a rough day."

"Rough day?" Aya mused to himself.  _Where did he go?  _Rather than let the matter drop, he followed Ken up the stairs.  The brunette assassin, not knowing Aya was behind him, entered his room and closed the door.  Aya paused in the hallway, unsure as to whether he should interrogate Ken further or leave him alone.

_Why should it concern me?  Ken has to deal with his own problems.  _Reassured by this thought, his face lost all traces of worry, the emotionless mask slipping down once more.  Abruptly, he turned around and retreated to the safety of the den.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Yoji, where are we going?"

"Anywhere but where the Moody things are," was his flippant reply.  Yoji dumped his armful of notes into the Seven (~_^ not the car you'd expect, ne?)  and opened the driver-side door.

"Get in, Omittchi, you deserve a study break."

Mystified, Omi climbed into the passenger side and wisely fastened his seatbelt.  "Did you ever pay that speeding ticket?"

Yoji pushed up his sunglasses and turned towards the younger blonde.  "Of course not; I'm above the law," he remarked airily before revving the engine.

Omi snorted derisively.  "Yeah, okay, Queen Yoji.  If we're going anywhere, we'd better go now because the shops around here close at 9."

"Who says we're going shopping?"

About to reply, Omi was silenced by Yoji's index finger on his lips.  "Hush, bishounen, it's a surprise."

_Ne, Yoji's surprises are usually hazardous to my health… _Omi turned his head to look at the passing buildings and scenery.  They looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember being in this part of the city for any specific reason.  And why was Yoji being so mysterious?  If it was a good surprise he would have at least _hinted_ at their final destination.  

The car made a left turn, then a few rights, and then another left down a back street.  Yoji parked the Seven in a side lot and got out of the car.  

"We're here, bishounen," he said cheerfully.  Puzzled, Omi slid off the seat and stood in bewilderment on the sidewalk.

"Yoji, where the hell are we?"

The playboy in question was grinning secretively, reminding Omi of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland.  "Tsk tsk…language, chibi.  You'll find out soon enough."

And he did.  To his utter dismay, Omi realized where Yoji had taken him.

To a gay bar.

"Yooooooooji!  I can't go in one of those!  I'll get raped!"

Yoji laughed.  "No you won't, it's not like some seedy biker joint.  The guys in here don't jump all over new ass."

Omi groaned as Yoji dragged him down the street and into the door.  "Yoji, do I have to do this?"

"Yes," he said firmly, "and if you complain, I'll make you sit in the car and study."

"Easy, I'd just drive away."

"Not without the keys."  Yoji dangled the offending item in front of his face and grinned at Omi's dismayal.  He pocketed the keys and led Omi over to a small table in the back.  "You need to loosen up, bishounen, don't stress.  We needed to get away from the Most Dysfunctional Couple, and we also need to talk about us."

"A-about us?" Omi squeaked.

Yoji ignored his embarrassment.  "Hai.  If you're going to go all homophobic on me, this will never work."

Omi was silent.  He hadn't realized his relationship with the older assassin had progressed to the point of term rules.

While Yoji let him mull over his words, a youngish-looking guy with black hair highlighted brown came over to sit at their table.

"Kon bon wa, Yoji-tachi," he said in greeting to the pair.  He seemed nice, wearing normal college-student clothes and a pair of wire-framed glasses.  Also, Omi noticed, he had very nice eyes.

"Konnichi wa, Ryuuichi.  Yuu, this is Omi, Omi, this is Tenman Ryuuchi, better known as Yuu."

Yuu nodded and smiled.  "So this is the famous Omi-chan?  Yoji talks a lot about you."

Omi blushed crimson.  Yoji coughed and ordered a few shots.  "Aa, well, you seem to do a lot of talking about _your _significant other, but he has yet to make an appearance."

Yuu sighed and leaned his cheek on his hand.  "I can't get him out of his denial state.  He'll sleep with me, but he won't walk too close to me in public."

"Hnn, sounds familiar."

Yuu smiled at Omi and handed him a glass half-full of something that looked like milk.  "You must be brave, a young un' like you coming out of the closet.  Try this, it's good."

Omi picked it up and wrinkled his nose.  "What is it?"

"It's a White Russian, kinda like milk with vodka."

Omi looked questioningly at Yoji.  Yoji nodded.  "Go ahead, bishounen, a few sips won't knock you out."

"No, but a few glasses will get you knocked up," Yuu chuckled at his own joke while Yoji grinned.  Omi took a sip and grimaced, handing it back to its owner.

"Didn't like it?"

"Iie.  I'm not much of a drinker."

"And well you shouldn't be, you're underage."

"You'd be surprised at the things he's done."  Yoji winked at Omi, producing another blush from the teenager.

"He doesn't mean it like that," he assured Yuu.

"No worries, even if you had, I wouldn't blame you.  Considering Kudou's libido, I'm surprised and a little awed that you haven't."

For a few hours, the three men joked and shared stories; when Omi mentioned his upcoming calculus exam, Yuu went over a few formulas and postulates with him.  All in all, he thought as they left the bar, it had been time well spent.

What made it even better was that it had been time spent with Yoji.  Walking back down the street towards the lot, Omi intertwined his fingers with Yoji's, hiding his red face in the older man's jacket.  Yoji looked down at the small blonde head and smiled.

_Thank you gods, for giving me an angel._

A/N:  WHEEEEE!!! I got this chapter up a hella lot faster, and it's got Yoji/Omi in it, too!  I know you're waiting for more Aya/Ken action, so it's coming in the next chapter!  I finally got all my shit cleared away and have more time to write, so be patient!  And remember to revieeeewwwww!  I heart you all.  ^____^


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Ok, ok, now I'm Tomokazu Seki!  "Of course Takehito-kun's not married, cuz he's secretly gay with Yuuki-kun.  And of course you can have Weiss Kreuz, K-chan!"

Thank you, Seki-chan, you've been most helpful.

Yoji: -cough- Dillusional, are we?

Going to ignore that.

Disclaimer on the song:  "My December" by Linkin Park, my friend let me listen to this song in school when a girl we knew got hit by a car and died, and it sticks in my mind sometimes when I'm not feeling so hot, you know?  It's a beautiful song, by the way. And I think the lyrics fit Aya and Ken's relationship pretty well, so I'm stickin' them in here.

Voila, mes enfants; Chapter 7 ^_^

This is my December…

This is my time of the year.

This is my December,

This is all so clear…

This is my December,

This is my snow-covered hall,

This is my December,

This is me alone…

And I….

Just wish I didn't feel like there was something I missed…

And I….

Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that,

And I…

Just wish I didn't feel like there was something I missed..

Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that…

And I,

Give it all away,

Just to have somewhere to go to,

Give it all away,

Just to have someone to come home to…

What was love?  Men had gone mad trying to answer that question.  It wasn't a body you went to when you were sad, it wasn't the hand that wiped away your tears.  It wasn't the frigid, walking corpse that made you feel like shit when you thought your day couldn't get any worse.  That wasn't love.  

Love was knowing that frigid walking corpse cared for you and would hold you until the end of time.  Love was feeling like shit but still reaching out a hand for the person you knew was there to take it.

Ken didn't have anything like that.

Ken had Aya.

And Aya did not love him.

Which, he reflected, was okay because he didn't deserve love anyways.  But Aya didn't deserve to be shunned like that, either.  He had sounded like he genuinely wanted to know what was wrong.  But Ken had pushed him away.  Why?

Why am I such an idiot? He wondered, alone outside a few hours later.  It was 11:00 by now, and the stars hung bloodless in a coal-bin sky.  Unable to sleep, he had crept down the stairs, past Yoji's sleeping form on the couch.  He had done a double take when he saw Omi curled up next to him, but what the heck?  At least they were happy.

Which was more than he could say for himself.  So, unable to deal with these unfamiliar feelings of depression, he had laid down in the grass with his pillow and looked up at the sky.  No one knew he was out here, so he was safe for the moment.

Safe from what?   You're fooling yourself, Hidaka, you know you want to run back in there and beg Aya for forgiveness.

I have nothing to apologize for, he argued.

Yes, but you'll do it anyway, like the spineless, dependent, needy bastard you are.

"That's enough!" he yelled, sitting bolt upright.  He was sick of this little inner voice degrading him and telling him all the things he knew couldn't possibly be true.  Yes, he had sinned.  Yes, he was a killer.  But he had never hurt anyone for no reason.  And he wasn't going to hurt Aya.  Even if he didn't love him, he'd swallow his pride and continue being the body.  Just the body, not the heart or the mind or the soul.

Because, if you thought about it, it wasn't the body that felt pain.  Without the mind, the body wouldn't know it was being hurt or used.  Without the heart, the body wouldn't want anything more.  Without the soul, the body was useless, so anything could be done to it.

Youji had told him something along those lines, years before.  That while you were killing, just imagine you're striking down bodies, not people with minds and souls.  It made it easier to do his job, and it made it easier for him now, gazing up at the sky once more.  Comforted by these thoughts, he had almost drifted off to sleep when a shadow fell over him.  He looked up into sharp amethyst eyes.

"Aya?"  Clumsily, Ken brought his upper body off the ground in order to see the stolid assassin better.

"What are you doing out here?"

Ken shrugged in response.  "Couldn't sleep."

Ken watched with incredulous eyes as Aya sat down next to him, still with that ethereal grace he managed to keep intact.  "It's cold, you should have a jacket on."

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Aya contradicted.  "Ken, please tell me what's wrong."

The brunette blanched.  He couldn't recall Aya ever saying please for anything.  Could he tell him what was wrong?  Would he understand?  Reflectively, he drew up his knees and stared at the grass.  This was going to hurt so badly, but he didn't want to suffer alone anymore.  Someone had to know.

"What's wrong?  What's wrong is that I've told you that I love you but I've never once heard it said back to me.  What's wrong is that I don't know whether you're just using me for a body or whether you actually care for me as a person.  What's wrong is that being in a relationship shouldn't be this damn difficult, Aya."  He paused and took a shaky breath before continuing in a quieter vein.  "What's wrong is that I don't think I could ever be worth your love, but I still want it.  What's wrong is that my heart feels like it's going to explode but I don't know how to explain it."  Never once during his speech did he look at Aya, he knew the older man would be either laughing at him or disgusted by his womanly dependence.

Which is why he was shocked out of his mind when Aya put a tentative arm around his waist.

"Ken, why didn't you tell me this before?"

He honestly didn't know.  "I was scared?  I guess, that you'd just reject me altogether.  So I figured I'd take what I could get."

Aya brought Ken's head down onto his shoulder, feeling the younger Weiss relax in his embrace.  "But you're wrong about a lot of things.  Number one: relationships, no matter what kind, are always difficult.  Always.  But getting past obstacles makes the relationship stronger.  Number two:  I would never reject you.  And number three: I love you."

Ken pulled away from Aya's arms, disbelieving.  "Don't say it unless you mean it."

"I do mean it.  I love you.  And I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize it."  Aya laid back in the grass, quiet after his admittance.  After a moment, Ken set his body down next to him, spooning into Aya's side.  Aya's arm was around his waist again, drawing him closer.  He tucked Ken's head beneath his chin; when he spoke again, his voice ruffled the brown hair underneath him.

"Are you okay now?"

Ken nodded, feeling Aya's chin move against his head.  "Arigatou."

Aya seemed surprised.  "For what?"

Ken smiled, unseen by Aya as his face was pressed into the other man's chest.  "It's nice to have someone love you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Morning light filtered through the window of the living room, reflecting off of lazy green eyes that watched a certain blonde assassin stirring in his sleep.  Yoji's lips curved in a smile as Omi whimpered softly from under a mound of blankets, both blankets and Omi lying on top of his chest.  

Sleepy sapphire met amused jade as Omi opened his eyes and tried to register where he was and what time of day it was.

"Ohayo, Omittchi."

"Ohayo, Yoji-kun.  I ma nanji desu ka?"  

Yoji shifted to look at the clock.  "'S 8:30.  Why?"

Omi groaned and rolled off of Yoji's chest to hit the floor with a bang.  "Itai…" Yoji peered down at him from the couch.

"You ok, bishounen?"

"Hai, hai.  I just remembered that we've got first shift."

"Kuso…it's too late to open the shop now, let's just sleep in today."

"Yoji," Omi protested, looking up at him with puppy eyes.

"It's not going to work on me this time, kid."  Omi's gaze didn't waver.  "I'm telling you, it's not going to-Oh fuck, fine.  Christ, the things I do for you."

Omi scrambled to his feet and ran for the stairs.  "Wai!  I get dibs on the shower!"

Yoji sighed and leaned back on the couch, knowing full well that there wouldn't be any hot water left after Omi had his shower.  

"Well, it'll be a supreme sacrifice, but I guess I'll just have to take one with him," he reasoned out loud, trying to sound like a martyr and failing.  A slow grin spread across his face as he kicked off the remaining blankets and followed his blonde koibito up the stairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In another part of the house, Aya was stretched out on the bed, facing the ceiling as he contemplated where things would go from here.  His gaze shifted over to the small tufts of brown hair peeking out from beneath the quilt.  Involuntarily, a small smile ghosted along his lips and he resisted the urge to grab Ken and squeeze him for all he was worth.

Just to make sure he was really there.

That he was really his.

The thought made him smile for real, the idea that he now had someone else to protect, someone else to cherish.  There was nothing more he could do for Aya-chan now, he had to stop hanging onto her as if she were a life support.

Now he had another person to love.

The lump that was Ken began moving under the quilt, trying to find a more comfortable spot on the bed.  Small noises of frustration emitted from beneath the covers.  Aya raised an eyebrow and poked at the lump.  

"Ken, what are you doing?"

The response came back muffled.  "Tryin' t' go back t' sleep."

"Maybe if you stopped thrashing around…"

A tired brown head poked its way through the opening of the quilt and peered at Aya.  "I think I'm too awake to fall asleep again.  What's for breakfast?"

Aya sighed, his moment of sap ruined.  "No clue.  Kudou and Omi are taking a shower, so-

"Matte matte, I could have sworn you said Kudou, Omi, and shower in the same sentence."

"I did."

Ken blushed crimson.  "Aren't there laws against that?"

"Considering the laws we've broken, I doubt Yoji cares about deflowering a minor."  Aya pushed back the covers and got to his feet.  Ken grumbled and crawled off the bed.

"I don't see why you have to use 'deflowered' instead of 'fucking,' like a normal human being."

"I'll let that slide, seeing as how you're so cranky in the morning."

"I'm not cranky!" he protested before tripping over his shoes.  "Damnit!"  Angrily, he kicked the offending articles down the stairs.  Aya sighed again and followed both Ken and Ken's cleats down the stairs.  Once they reached the kitchen, Ken immediately rushed over to the coffee maker.

"Kuso!  No one made coffee yet??"  Ken wailed and thunked his head onto the counter.  Aya ignored his dramatics and plugged the machine in.  He slid Ken's head over in order to reach the filters in the drawer and replaced the old one from the previous morning.  Coffee was to Ken like cigarettes and alcohol were to Yoji and candy and Advil were to Omi.  Thankfully he needed no such stimulant.

Ten minutes later, the coffee pot was making cheerful brewing noises and Yoji and Omi had joined them at the table, looking slightly damp but grinning like drunken ducks.  Well, Omi was blushing and grinning, but Yoji certainly looked pleased with himself.  Aya blocked out all thoughts of what those grins indicated and set himself to the task of eating a piece of toast.  Ken was watching the coffee machine through bleary eyes and muttering to himself.  Aya couldn't keep a small smile off his face as he watched his anxious boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Aya blanched internally at his own thoughts.  Is that what he'd call Ken?  What other term was he supposed to use?  He could imagine the two of them in public…

Cashier: Will that be all?

Ken: Hmm, I think so, did we forget anything, Aya?

Cashier: It's so sweet how you two have come out together.

Aya: Excuse me?

Cashier: Oh, you don't have to hide it, I think it's perfectly adorable!

Aya: Er..

Cashier: Will you and your boyfriend be needing anything else?

Ken: Boyfriend?  -faints-

Aya:  -groan-

"Aya!"  Someone was shaking him.  Startled, Aya snapped out of his odd daydream to see Kudou's hands on his shoulders.  Growling, he shook them off and finished his toast.

"Chikyuu to Aya, what's wrong with you?"

"Nanimo," he snapped curtly.  Ken raised his head off the counter, eyes questioning.  Aya sighed and shook his head.  "Nanimo," he replied with less chill in his voice.  This arrangement would be a learning experience for the both of them.

A/N:  -wails-  Help me!  I carried this fic on too far!  Now I don't know how I should end it!  Should I leave this as the last chapter and start a sequel?  One that actually has some semblance of a working plot?  This is why you don't write stories when you're

a) wasted

b) exhausted

c) depressed

d) mentally/physically ill

Today, I think I covered all of those respectively.    Aidez-moi, s'il vous plait!


End file.
